Message No. 1187

I’m sitting in my bedroom where I work. I live in manhattan and I’m very fortunate. Neither my wife or had gotten sick or lost our jobs. We’ve donated as many masks as we can and financialLy contributes where we can. My wife runs her business from home so the adjustments are minimal but for me it’s completely new. I’ve always worked in an office. We’ve said repeatedly that we’re so glad it’s spring. At least I’m able to look outside and see blooming flowers or when I go for a socially distanced walk have it be quite pleasant. Life has stayed the same in many ways – my wife and I do our shopping on Sunday’s, we drink coffee in the morning, and we start work around 9 or 10 in the morning. But in other ways it’s vastly different. I’ve never been an anxious person but now there’s an underlying tension, a fear every time I go outside, and I’ve never had that feeling before. We aren’t able to see our friends anymore – we’ve had virtual happy hours, joint tv watching, etc., but it really hit home for me when we dropped off some masks for friends of ours. We weren’t able to give them our customary hugs – we said hi and tossed the masks to them. And then there’s death – a good friend of mine lost his father last year and then just lost his older brother to the virus. It’s heart wrenching because not only does he have to do this with just his mom, but aside from sending a video, seamless gift card, and telling him I’m there for him there’s nothing I can do. In so many ways, this virus has brought a kind of tranquillity to life. It’s quieter now and we can hear birds chirping…

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